Autumnal Reveries...

Autumn to me is the first downpour on a late October afternoon. If I was in London it would mean the leaves falling from the trees, of light cardigans being exchanged for winter coats and the central heating being turned back on.

Autumn in Cyprus means the heat still persists even into late November. Little school children half-heartedly give up their summer pastimes for the dull schoolroom, immersed in books and their new bags and stationary. The same old ads will come on inviting mothers to shop school items at affordable prices. The minister of education will make a rare appearance, reassuring the public that books will arrive from Greece on time, this time.

As a teacher to me it is the beginning of the new academic year, a fresh start, a clean slate, new students, new books and a new classroom. For another year I ponder the same ancient questions. Am I doing the right thing? Am I in the right place? Should I be somewhere else? The leaves falling in London with its dull but funnily comforting weather beckons again. Should I really be there? I must admit I haven't yet found my quiet niche, the place I feel at home in, my space, my peace. I'm still struggling with all that and so I wonder am I wrong to live here? Why haven't I settled all these years? Why hasn't my life settled me?

Worryingly there are many young professionals in Cyprus who are posing the same questions. With unemployment soaring many are thinking of moving away where there is more opportunity in their field of work. Unfortunately Cyprus doesn't always cater for all professions, being such a small island and some have no choice but to leave and work elsewhere.

For me Cyprus is paradise but at times can also feel like a prison. Gone are the years when all I saw was through pink-tinted glasses, when with a heavy heart I found myself shopping shiny pencils and colourful rubbers in Woolworth (now Debenhams), preparing myself to go back to England and face the music in my bog-standard comprehensive in North Finchley. Then the picture was a little different to what it is now. Now I have lived here and seen the ugly side, if it must be called that, of social inequality, small-mindedness, unemployment queues, soaring crime rates and ranting politicians, offering us nothing but dead ends.

So, what happened to my dream? To travel the world, hop on a train and travel round Italy? Routine has made me forget what I need. I suppose I can use Cyprus as a base and do all these things.Perhaps. My impulsive side will say get on the first plane and go to England now. Then there's the little voice which says, stick to where you are, things will turn out okay in the end. It's worrying to see however that wherever I turn, young people are choosing to leave the island. Some say things are going to get even worse. Therefore I find myself this autumn in a bit of a mix -up wondering what my next step will be. Do I stick it out here or do I run? Do I leave my island for a new adventurous one? Time will only tell.