The importance of a mass produced wedding...

My most recent wedding experience was a disaster. As is known you must wait in line to congratulate the bride and groom and of course produce a tiny white envelope with your gift of money. Cypriots are very good at waiting in wedding queues. There were minimal complaints.I waited for an hour in the queue. A queue which formed from left to right, so in fact it was a crowd of people.

The wedding was a mass produced affair. What do I mean? Cypriots have a tendency to invite anyone and everyone to the wedding, from the local hairdresser to the local butcher. This of course is to get the money (that is if they don't get an empty envelope which has happened) and which will help pay for the exquisite eccentricities. The candles with the glitter and the tiny pink stones surrounded by flowers in crystal vases. Then it's buffet time where you can eat and drink as much as you like. There was pushing and shoving to get to the cutlery only to be confronted with overdone pork and greasy potatoes and a salad which seemed like yesterday's. Then the music started. If you want to have a decent conversation with someone, you can't. I have heard that there have been weddings when the bride and groom are lifted from underground on a podium to be greeted by claps and cheers and the best bit? They are in a red convertible beeping the horn. I guess people have tastes, but a red convertible?

The bride and groom had their first dance and this was an opportunity to have a good look. The bride wore extreme makeup. The eyeshadow was dark blue with silver and lashings of mascara. The dress? Too many frills, and meringuish. The groom? His hair slicked back in a ponytail, shiny shoed. Despite the over-extravagant theme and all the chaos, there emerges one thing which usually comes across during the dance. Two people who believe they are made for eachother.At least you would hope so anyway. But why mass production? Surely at your wedding you only want to be surrounded by your close friends and family. What's the point in shaking hands with a bunch of strangers? For the money? Have something low key so your costs don't hit the roof. It's simple really.

When I got home that night my feet were killing me and my ears were ringing from the music.I had gone to the wedding as an observer to congratulate a newly-wed couple I hardly knew. Why did I go? Probably for the same reason that all the other hundreds of people had gone. Out of pure curiousity. Plus I didn't have anything better to do that night! It was a wedding, however over the top with the glitter and the stones and the ribbons and the bride's overdone makeup. It was a celebration. " Na zisete" I had said when shaking the couple's hands " Congratulations." I guess I meant it.